A common theme in this week’s reading is finding ways to help those with privilege recognize that they have it – generally through symbolism. John Scalzi’s “Straight White Male – The Lowest Difficult Setting There Is” uses a gaming analogy. Peggy McIntosh, in “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack,” compares privilege to “an invisible weightless knapsack of special provisions, maps, passports, codebooks, visas, clothes, tools and blank checks.”
Sindelókë’s “Of Dogs and Lizards: A Parable of Privilege” uses an extended metaphor. In the story, a thick-furred dog lives with a small gecko. The dog controls the house temperature, and doesn’t understand why the gecko complains. When the gecko tries to turn it around: “How would you like it if YOU were cold?” the dog can’t conceive what that would be like. The real-life example is a woman saying “How would YOU like to be leered at?” and a man thinking “Hey, great!” because he can’t identify with how threatening it is – he only thinks it would be sexy.
Sindelókë did a masterful job of explaining how privilege hurts the vulnerable party in a way mysterious/invisible to the privileged one. BUT – the parable is set up in a way that it is impossible for the dog and the lizard to both live comfortably all the time. Being fair would need to involve some sort of schedule for who gets to set the thermostat when; I can imagine a rota, sort of like roommates deciding whose turn it is to do the dishes.
In this story, advantage (a term I think is more palatable to the privileged than “privilege”) is a finite commodity, a zero-sum game. The lizard thrives only under conditions that will make the dog suffer, and vice versa. My white liberal heart cried out for a scenario where both are happier than they were at the start, or at least not unhappier.
But in real life, this is unfortunately how it plays out sometimes: advantage is a football to be fought over and scored with, not something to share. Last year, an anti-bullying bill in Michigan went through several iterations that provided religious exemptions – critics called it a “license to bully” GLBT people. This year’s controversy over Chick Fil-A and same-sex marriage led to a tremendous muddle over who would “win” with more boycotts, support or protests.
damali ayo’s “You Can Fix Racism” project strikes me as a valuable guide for supports of gay rights as well. Re-reading it with Chick Fil-A in mind, her advice of “Resist drawing enemy lines” jumped out at me. What could have been accomplished if gay-rights supporters, instead of jumping in to score points, looked with sympathy at people who are afraid of losing their advantage/privilege/comfortable life, and found a way to reassure them?
Instead of boycotting the chain, would there have been a better strategy in patronizing it? A show that even though we’re politically opposed, we support your rights and understand your unease?
Is there a gentler way to say “get used to it?”
The summary on privilege is thoughtful. Incorporating the Implicit Behaviors , more specifically the assessment on ‘Sexuality’, in the summary would help provide reference to the last few paragraphs of the blog which deals with Chick-fil-A’s leadership stance on marriage. I am quite sure there were varying results that aligned each of us one way or the other with our bias or non-bias of same gender or same sex relationships.
Additionally, in my opinion, there was a slight attempt to compare African American non-privilege with white female gay non-privilege, which could be argued not to be an equal or fair comparison due to the fact that the primary layer of privilege is heavily based on the outward physicality rather than inherent traits in which we have the ability to display or not display depending upon the privilege that it will or will not afford us.
As an African American heterosexual woman, my primary layer is exposed and I have no option or ability to limit that exposure or suppress it completely. As a white gay female your first layer is exposed and allows the privileges that come with that exposed layer. In regards to sexual orientation, it is a layer that one can choose to expose or limit exposure depending upon the circumstances.
I can certainly appreciate the complications that surround the ability to pass in terms of privilege. However, remembering the lessons about listening and believing, it is important to recognize that 1. femaleness is also visible and 2. a society in which people have to hide their identity is far from ideal. While this does not flatten the difference between subject positions, it does remind us that there are many factors which must be considered when discussing privilege.
When considering the question of polite point-scoring as social response to straight privilege the instance of Chick-fil-A manager An2thony Picolia immediately springs to mind. Picolia was featured in local and national news sources for his franchise’s support of the 2012 New Hampshire Pride Fest, and was quoted in the NY Daily News as saying “In both my personal and professional life, I have had, and continue to have, positive relationships with family, friends, customers and employees in the LGBT community.” My own search of the micro blog-o-sphere also returned numerous poignant results, one such being a widely circulated meme of unknown authorship that I’ll paraphrase along the lines of “A Christian and a Lesbian walk into a bar and enjoy drinks and conversation because neither of them is a pretentious jerk.”
Perhaps the problem is not so much a lack of polite and thoughtful response to privilege of any kind, but the fact that most mainstream media outlets focus on, and sensationalize, events and information to generate reader interest among the broadest demographic. Unfortunately, the media patrons aren’t usually motivated by social problem-solving. They’re more apt to seek information presented as entertainment, and more likely to follow news stories that amuse, appall, and polarize them.
You do a nice job of treating the topic critically and of using links and tags to enrich your post. It seems to me though that there are two separate issues that have been collapsed here. One is promoting understanding among patrons of the restaurant and the other is trying to get the company to change its practices. One is motivated by a desire for individual reform and the other is much more securely anchored in the financial. How do you place strategies such as the kiss day in your call for more compassion?
Overall, nicely done. In the future, continue to push your critical thinking and don’t forget about the value of an image or two to add visual interest to your posts.